The Joy of Leadership – Letting Go of Control
I’ve worked with leaders for many years, and one pattern appears again and again — not loudly, but quietly, just beneath the surface.
The moment they need to let go.
Not delegating.
Not assigning.
Just… releasing control enough for others to grow.
And it’s rarely a technical challenge.
Most leaders know how to delegate.
But letting go — that’s different.
A moment I’ve seen many times
A leader once shared a sentence that has stayed with me far longer than I expected.
She paused, looked out the window, and finally said:
“I trust my team.
I just don’t fully trust myself when I’m not in control.”
No blame.
No drama.
Just honesty.
I’ve heard variations of this from many leaders — different words, same feeling.
A mix of responsibility, care, expectation and fear, all living in the same place.
Still, not every leader says it out loud.
Most simply carry it in silence.
Why letting go feels so heavy
Letting go challenges something deeper than skill.
It touches our identity as leaders — the part of us that wants to deliver, protect, support and avoid mistakes.
When you’re the person others rely on, stepping back can feel like abandoning your role.
But in reality, it’s the opposite.
It’s how leadership matures.
Short sentence.
Deep truth:
Impact grows where others get room to step forward.
What changes when leaders release pressure
When leaders move from control → to clarity,
from holding → to trusting,
from directing → to enabling…
…teams start breathing again.
They take initiative.
They bring new ideas.
They carry more responsibility — not because they must, but because they can.
And leaders discover something surprising:
letting go doesn’t reduce influence.
It multiplies it.
Letting go is a practice, not a moment
I don’t think any leader “masters” it.
I certainly haven’t.
But leaders learn to recognise the tension — that narrow space between wanting things to succeed and daring to let others shape how that success happens.
That space is where growth begins.
Reflection
If you’ve ever felt this pull between holding on and letting go, you’re not alone.
Most leaders experience it long before they speak about it — often right before their biggest growth moment.
If this reflection resonates and you feel that more clarity, confidence or support could help you or your team move forward,
you’re welcome to explore my coaching approach here: